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relientkenny:

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

I like this love story better than the Notebook

cyclopentadiene:

"No homo," I whisper as I add hydrochloric acid to an aqueous solution. Crystals of benzoic acid form from the once-homogeneous solution. I am a chemist.

me: halloween is coming soon
mom: it's july
me:
me: halloween is coming soon
tags:
#what
Me trying to express how I feel: Idk I just feel like...idk...idk man. Nvm I'm good.

benoftheseer:

staff:

starting today all blogs without the following images will be deleted within 24 hours

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((not risking that shit))

(Source: crybaybe)

fakedick:

Hey, if you accidentally call a guy “daddy” in conversation, just save yourself by adding “-o” to the end and slick your hair back like a 1950’s greaser. And throw on your sick-ass leather jacket

Your thirst is hidden and now you’re the coolest dude in school

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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